In our study of 1 Corinthians chapter seven, we look at love and marriage with a non-Christian. Paul wrote this letter to the church at Corinth in response to questions that they had asked concerning a biblical marriage relationship.
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Now to deal with the questions you wrote about: "Is it good for a man to keep away from women?"
The first six chapters of this letter dealt with some things that were going on in the local church but now the focus shifts to answering questions that they had about biblical marriage. When Paul speaks of marriage, here, he is in fact talking of a sexual relationship between a man and a woman as that was only allowed in the marriage relationship. Paul says it is good for a man to stay single but, as we shall see, there is more to it than that.
Well, because of the danger of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give his wife what she is entitled to in the marriage relationship, and the wife should do the same for her husband.
We must remember that Corinth was like the "sin city" of the day and, in fact, sex had become a religion there. In light of this temptation that was all around them, Paul said that men and women should be joined together in a marriage relationship. The sexual relationship was appropriate in the overall marriage relationship and men as well as women should be fulfilling those needs in their marriage.
The wife is not in charge of her own body, but her husband is; likewise, the husband is not in charge of his own body, but his wife is.
When a man and woman are joined in marriage, they give up self and the two become one (see Genesis 2). Therefore, they each belong to the other and not to themselves.
Do not deprive each other, except for a limited time, by mutual agreement, and then only so as to have extra time for prayer; but afterwards, come together again. Otherwise, because of your lack of self-control, you may succumb to the Adversary's temptation. I am giving you this as a suggestion, not as a command.
The sexual relationship is good and proper in a marriage that is from God. As we see here, it is also a gift from God that protects us from attacks by Satan. Paul advises them (and us) that we are only to give up this gift for a short time so that we can focus on prayer and it is only to happen by mutual consent. Do you want to defeat adultery, pornography, and all the other tools of the devil in this area of your life? The simple answer is to be in a solid marriage.
Actually, I wish everyone were like me; but each has his own gift from God, one this, another that.
This verse has wrongly been taken to mean that Paul was never married but that is not what he was saying. At the time of this letter, Paul was evidently either a widow or his wife had abandoned him when he accepted Christ. He had been a member of the Sanhedrin (see Acts 26:10) and it was a requirement that, to be a member, you had to be married. According to the Mishna (oral traditions) a man was not a man if at the age of eighteen he did not have a wife. After his wife either died or left him, Paul remained single. What he was saying, here, is that his ability to focus on God and not be tempted by the desire for a woman (stay single) was in fact an ability (gift) given to him by God. He wishes that all men had this same gift but realized that God gives this gift as well as others to whom He chooses.
Now to the single people and the widows I say that it is fine if they remain unmarried like me; but if they can't exercise self-control, they should get married; because it is better to get married than to keep burning with sexual desire.
There have been many "church leaders" that have taken this passage wrong and then taught others that those who stay unmarried and live like monks are more godly than those who marry. They have even made up rules such as a priest could not be married. That is not what Paul is saying. He is simply asking those that are unmarried to pray and to really search themselves to see if God has given them the gift of being able to stay single without the devil creeping into their lives. If they have that gift, it is good as they can be single and not tempted in that area by Satan. If they do not have that gift, he is telling them to get married (and he is not telling them to marry just anyone) to close that gate of temptation by the devil.
To those who are married I have a command, and it is not from me but from the Lord: a woman is not to separate herself from her husband But if she does separate herself, she is to remain single or be reconciled with her husband. Also, a husband is not to leave his wife.
Paul reminds the Corinthians that God does not like divorce and so the married should stay married.
To the rest I say - I, not the Lord: if any brother has a wife who is not a believer, and she is satisfied to go on living with him, he should not leave her. Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband who is satisfied to go on living with her, she is not to leave him. For the unbelieving husband has been set aside for God by the wife, and the unbelieving wife has been set aside for God by the brother - otherwise your children would be "unclean," but as it is, they are set aside for God.
Have you ever heard of staying in a marriage for the children's sake? That is what Paul is saying to do in this situation but we have to understand that this is from him and not a "command of God". This is also specific to a marriage between a believer and a non-Christian.
But if the unbelieving spouse separates himself, let him be separated. In circumstances like these, the brother or sister is not enslaved - God has called you to a life of peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
We see, from this passage, that the home is to be a place of love not a battle zone. Paul tells the believer that, if their non-Christian spouse wants to leave, then let them go but, if they want to stay, show them the love of Jesus in hopes that they might be saved. There are many who will take this passage and try to force Christians to stay in a marriage that does not honor God but we must remember that God has never asked His people to live in a "marriage hell".
Only let each person live the life the Lord has assigned him and live it in the condition he was in when God called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the congregations.
This may seem odd as Paul tells us the "rule I lay down" but this rule is freedom. Paul is telling us that, when we accept the grace of God then we do not have to do anything else to be saved.
Was someone already circumcised when he was called? Then he should not try to remove the marks of his circumcision. Was someone uncircumcised when he was called? He shouldn't undergo b'rit-milah. Being circumcised means nothing, and being uncircumcised means nothing; what does mean something is keeping God's commandments.
Paul is using the Jewish tradition of circumcision to make his point. That point once again is that we are saved by the grace of God and not by our own actions. Once we are saved, we are to follow Jesus as His disciple.
Each person should remain in the condition he was in when he was called. Were you a slave when you were called? Well, don't let it bother you; although if you can gain your freedom, take advantage of the opportunity. For a person who was a slave when he was called is the Lord's freedman; likewise, someone who was a free man when he was called is a slave of the Messiah.
Just as you do not try to go back and change a circumcision, Paul tells us that we are to accept where we are and to follow the Lord as He directs. Paul is talking about being a bondslave when he speaks of being "Christ's slave". This is how he often referred to himself and it speaks of someone who was set free by their master but willingly stays to serve that master.
You were bought at a price, so do not become slaves of other human beings. Brothers, let each one remain with God in the condition in which he was called.
Paul is talking about becoming slaves to the rules of men instead of listening to God and what he has for your life. He reminds us that we answer to God and not men and so we must listen to Him.
Now the question about the unmarried: I do not have a command from the Lord, but I offer an opinion as one who by the Lord's mercy is worthy to be trusted. I suppose that in a time of stress like the present it is good for a person to stay as he is. That means that if a man has a wife, he should not seek to be free of her; and if he is unmarried, he should not look for a wife. But if you marry you do not sin, and if a girl marries she does not sin. It is just that those who get married will have the normal problems of married life, and I would rather spare you.
The "present crisis" that Paul refers to is the fact that sex had become a religion in this city. Paul is reminding the Christians of the fact that, in God's eyes, sex is associated with marriage and so it is not to be taken lightly. He tells them that it is good to stay a virgin but it is also good to be married. It warns them that it will not be easy to be married in this city with the rampant abuse of the marriage relationship. This passage speaks to events that are going on in many countries today as the marriage relationship (as defined by governments) is going against the Word of God. With the fact that governments will give people a certificate to say that men can marry (have sex) with men and women can marry (have sex) with women, that piece of paper stands against the Word of God. The advice that Paul gives the church in Corinth can certainly be applied to our world today. We are free to get that piece of paper but we are also free to say "No, I do not want any part of your paper".
What I am saying, brothers, is that there is not much time left: from now on a man with a wife should live as if he had none - and those who are sad should live as if they weren't, those who are happy as if they weren't, and those who deal in worldly affairs as if not engrossed in them - because the present scheme of things in this world won't last much longer.
What Paul is reminding them of is that the things of this world are temporary and it is time for believers to get and stay focused on lasting things.
What I want is for you to be free of concern. An unmarried man concerns himself with the Lord's affairs, with how to please the Lord; but the married man concerns himself with the world's affairs, with how to please his wife; and he finds himself split. Likewise the woman who is no longer married or the girl who has never been married concerns herself with the Lord's affairs, with how to be holy both physically and spiritually; but the married woman concerns herself with the world's affairs, with how to please her husband.
Anyone who has tried to balance their family life with work and the things of God can readily understand what Paul is saying here. With the wife usually comes a family and taking care of them which takes work and time. There are only so many hours in a day and so the day has to be divided between responsibilities to family and service to others which is our calling in the Lord. The same principle applies to women as, whether they earn an income or raise a family and take care of the home, they also only have so many hours in a day.
I am telling you this for your own benefit, not to put restrictions on you - I am simply concerned that you live in a proper manner and serve the Lord with undivided devotion.
Paul is telling us that we are free to marry as marriage was given by God. Some have misunderstood this teaching and so have made it a requirement for men and women serving God to remain celebate.
Now if a man thinks he is behaving dishonorably by treating his fiancée this way, and if there is strong sexual desire, so that marriage is what ought to happen; then let him do what he wants - he is not sinning: let them get married. But if a man has firmly made up his mind, being under no compulsion but having complete control over his will, if he has decided within himself to keep his fiancée a virgin, he will be doing well.
If God has called you to remain single in serving Him, then He takes away the physical desire to be with a woman intimately. If God does not call you to do so, then He will bring to you the woman that He has created for you just as He did with Adam and Eve in the garden. Either way, it is good to listen to the Lord and to remain in His calling for your life. Problems arise and Satan uses it when we try to operate outside of the power and calling that God has placed on our lives.
So the man who marries his fiancée will do well, and the man who doesn't marry will do better.
Paul reminds us that it is better to remain single and focused on the things of God. But, it is also good to obey God and marry if He has not given you the ability to resist the temptation.
A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives, but if the husband dies she is free to marry anyone she wishes, provided he is a believer in the Lord. However, in my opinion, she will be happier if she remains unmarried, and in saying this I think I have God's Spirit.
Paul explains the freedom that is in Christ concerning marriage and then gives us his opinion regarding a widow. We notice that he is not laying down hard and fast rules and condemning those who remarry. Instead, he is giving his opinion ("In my judgment") based on the experience he had of losing his wife.
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